Last night I dreamed that we were snowed in, and that my husband and I had nothing to do for the next five days but ski. There were no kids around. I'm not sure where my subconscious would have me ski unless Admiral was closed to traffic and the snow lasted for more than a day in this banana belt-part of Seattle. One interpretation is that I need some alone-time with my husband. The correct interpretation is that I am loving not only being home with my family and not working, but I am loving the fact that my husband is home. Not an hour goes by that he doesn't crack me up somehow.
Re-entry wasn't particularly easy. The first several days were a bit of a blur because we were all sleep-deprived and sick. Now that we are sleeping and healthy, our priorities are (1) making Georgia and Anna comfortable and happy; (2) preparing for the pending move; (3) and scrimping so that we can stretch our remaining income until closing on the sale of our house which is scheduled for July 19th, in that order.
Meredith (MCS's sister) and I are searching for a part-time nanny to care for Anna and Meredith's ten month-old son, Teddy, beginning the third week of July. In a mere two hours after posting the ad, I have received numerous e-mails from young women (mostly) with quite a bit of childcare experience. Of course we will conduct the necessary criminal and driving record background checks, but the most effective part of the selection process will be the in-person interview. Between the two of us, no one can possibly get past our collective bulls**t detectors. Most people submit stellar resumes, but if we can't stand to be around the person for more than ten minutes, then it won't matter what is on the resume. Here are the questions I am thinking of asking:
- Does female-pattern baldness run in your family? If so, what do you plan to do about it?
Why do you think Paul Newman hasn't made any movies in awhile? - If you had to pick between two left feet that couldn't be surgically corrected or being chased through the jungle by Pol Pot, which would you pick?
- Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
- Do you think there'll ever be a pill so that men can breast-feed?
- Use the word "bulbous" in a sentence.
- Clowns - funny or not?
After these questions the candidate will have to bench-press 320 lbs then make one of these in fifteen minutes.
17 comments:
Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
Yes it is. :)
lovin' the new banner pics
So jealous I can't sit in on the interviews. I will definitely need to have a peek at the resumes -- one of my favorite pasttimes. I once received a legal resume that the applicant has sealed with a kitty cat sticker. Revealing. This same applicant also described herself, in her resume, as "just like Monica on Friends." Priceless.
- MCS
No.
He realized that he's irrelevant and that he sells a lot of salad dressing at McDonalds.
I'm a pretty fast runner, so I'd go with the jungle chase.
Becuase it has seeds, and is born from a flower, it's a fruit. However, by law (can you believe the Supreme Court ruled on this in 1890-something) it's considered a vegetable. However, my first explanation also would turn cucumbers and stuff into fruits, so let's just say it's edible.
I hope not. Babies don't need to be sucking on men's nipples.
The tip of my penis is normally shaped, however, the abcess on the end of it has a bulbous quality.
Clowns are scary. Especially when they commit murder or make balloons.
Hi Dan! I agree, I agree.
Katyess: God bless photoshop.
MCS:
I remember that resume. Didn't she say she was super organized, more than Monica on Friends? We don't have any quite like that, yet.
Think Bulbous:
Yes, I'd have to agree with your answers except the men breast-feeding. I mean, doesn't this promote more efficient running of households if the women aren't the ones confined to the couch all day?
Oh, and thanks for the visual on the penis. Good times.
And then there are the ones who are WONDERFUL for ten minutes, but at eleven on the dot, the spell is broken.
How do you deprogram colors? Make her eat through a paper bag? Oh. That'd work.
Or a buzz. There are quite a few things I started liking only after I ate them with some ... um ... assistance.
I have two friends who are pregnant and they just started looking at day care centers and babysitters for when they go back to work. It seems stressful trying to find the right person to do a very special job. Good luck.
Oh, and those questions were awesome. Especially the one about Paul Newman. I think you should throw a few in for real, to see how they react.
Well, all, I can tell you what happened with the interviews. We had 7 scheduled. One every half hour at a local Starbucks. The first showed up and the last showed up. No one in between. Only after calling someone to remind her of the itnerview did she call back and say she couldn't come because her sister was on her way to the hospital and she had to pick her up . . . call me callous, but I don't think her sister was going near a hospital, unless it was to work. Fortunately the first seems like a good candidate. --MCV
How went Anna's first 4th?
Hey, did you really name Song Song Anna? Sweet. She's gorgeous Leezer. I love her smile.
Oh, how did your triathlon go?
Hi Booda:
I don't know how to deprogram this. Georgia still won't eat green food and she's almost 7. Come to think of it, I don't really like green food unless it's deep fried or covered in garlic and butter . . .
I realize I'm departing from the picture I now have in my head of men breastfeeding... but I wanted to say I really liked what you wrote about the kitties on Katie's page. I love the idea of paying homage to my past kitty by showering my current kitty with love! And I do plenty of that!!Thank you for the wonderful thought! : )
And good luck on the nanny shopping!
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