Did I mention it's hot here? A couple of days ago we visited some botanical gardens during a heavy rainstorm. The rain didn't really cool us off, it just made the ground steamy. My skin is constantly "dewy." (read: sweaty).I'm not complaining. Oh, except for one more thing. The staring.
There's staring and then there's staring. Before we arrived, I read that in the Chinese culture staring at others is completely acceptable. The city where we are staying caters to Americans adopting Chinese infants. Americans are everywhere and the economy depends upon American tourism. And whether it's sincere or not the Chinese people here are warm and gracious. I suspect it's sincere. Other than one time when a Chinese man stared at my boobs in the elevator all the way up to the ninth floor, the staring is usually fine because it's in a "oh, isn't it cute how that blond woman is carrying a Chinese child?"-sort of way.
Today we decided to venture off the beaten path without our guide so we took a taxi to an upscale shopping district larger than anything I've seen except maybe in Manhattan. Rolex, Cartier, Tiffany, all the expensive stuff that I don't pay attention to at home was there, as well as hundreds of shops and department stores full of merchandise I can't afford and don't need. There were no tourists, and no one spoke English or would help us find the elevators or the bathrooms. I asked one clerk for directions to the elevator and she smirked and looked away. Here, they stared at us in a "how dare you come into our county and take our Chinese baby back with you and, by the way, you are very fat and ugly"-kind of way. Time and time again Chinese shoppers stopped dead in their tracks, stared at us for two or three seconds, wrinkled up their noses then loped away like frightened woodland creatures. It was as if we were leading a herd of goats through the mall while wearing lederhosen.
I am not sure if I have a point here other than basic human kindness has no nationality, and neither does the cold shoulder. It's a good reminder to consider a similarly situated foreign person in the U.S. who needs to find a bathroom or an elevator. Even if they were herding goats, I would hope I would offer some help.
4 comments:
Aw, that sucks. Hopefully you were able to find the elevator, get out of there, and go back to where the nice people are.
When I studied in Italy in college, everyone warned me about how Italians have no regard for personal space, or at least they don't hold it as sacred as Americans do. I was willing to accept this until I learned that a "disregard for personal space" also included the lecherous weird men in the flea markets who insisted in trying to pinch my nipples at every opportunity.
Thus, I see your staring and raise you a painful nipple pinch.
Oh, and Georgia is just so darn adorable there are no words.
Ugh. Not a good feeling. When this would happen to me (like in an Amish market), I'd always be tempted to stare back. Engage in a kind of stare-off if you will (I wouldn't). I just appreciated getting home as I'm sure you're ready to do...
Oh, meanwhile my mom is staying with us this week, and we activated the Chinese cable channels here. Watching along with her, there is a talk show where the "entertainment" are all non-Chinese people speaking Mandarin perfectly. It's a good thing they're on a stage cuz not only is everybody staring, but their jaws are agape!
I hope you'd help the goat herder, too.
I'm sorry it doesn't work out fairly, that what goes around comes back EXACTLY around (yah. I know. That was the polar opposite of elegant, but you know what I mean), but it doesn't.
That's what you have two beautiful girls for, so you can teach them to see the world with empathy.
Well said.
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