Guangzhou - Day Two

The big day. After wandering around the City - in the steamiest hottest weather I've ever experienced - we met our guide at the hotel at 3:00 to drive to the civil affairs office about twenty minutes away. The agency prepared us for this initial meeting right before we left and emphasized that we should expect anything. Sometimes a child Song Song's age (2 1/2) will cry and fight to stay with her caregivers (nannies), which apparently is a good thing. It means that the child has formed an attachment to someone and will therefore be able to form attachments to others. It's not a good sign if the child is indifferent to being transferred from one caregiver to another. We were also told that the child will likely form an initial attachment to one parent and not the other. Mothers don't accept being the "ignored" parent as easily as the father, according to the agency's experience.

We drove through Middle Earth to get to the civil affairs office. I wish I could post the pictures I took of this otherworldly place. If any of you saw "Blade Runner" in the 1980's you'll recall scenes of industrial wastelands, ghettos, and machinery in the midst of abject poverty. This is what I mean by Middle Earth.

We pulled into an alley that fed directly into a clean, modern office building, and took the elevator up. We waited on couches in a large white room for the caregivers (they call them "nannies") to bring Song Song to us. Through an open door that led to an ordinary office, we saw her toddling around after her nanny, and immediately recognized her from the pictures and short video we were given, so we started calling after her. She ran to the door and slammed it shut, happily.

A few minutes later Song Song toddled to us accompanied by two nannies, stopped a few feet in front of us, and stared. One nanny said something in Chinese, and gently pushed her toward us, which made her cry. She stamped her foot, threw the candy her nanny had given her on the ground and shook her head, "no." So the nanny gave us some cereal and crackers to offer her. She let us feed her and within ten minutes, she was laughing and dancing and the nannies were able to slip away without a dramatic good-bye.

Song Song is robust and healthy, nearly as big as Georgia was at her age, completely potty-trained, and very, very pretty. It is clear to us that she's received much better care than many 2 1/2 year olds who live with their parents.

After 1/2 hour or after we met Song Song, it was time to leave with her. She took my husband's hand, holding onto his index finger. I tried to hold her other hand and she shook her head, "no," a little more violently than I was comfortable with. She sat on his lap for the entire drive back to the hotel and wouldn't let him out of her sight. Despite her obvious attachment to my husband, she wasn't indifferent to Georgia and me, she just wouldn't let us hold her. A few hours later, however, when we walked to the grocery store to get some things for Song Song to eat, she allowed me to hold her hand, but if my husband turned a corner out of view, she violently tugged at my hand until she saw him again.

We spent the rest of the evening in the hotel room playing with her and she grew more and more comfortable, so that by bed time she fell asleep in my husband's arms.

Things we learned about Song Song the first day: she doesn't like to take her shoes off; she loves to laugh and laughs often; she doesn't like her food to touch; she loves Mr. Potato Head especially his hats; she is very smart, sort of scary-smart (Harvard - is that expensive?); she sleeps through the night without waking; she smells really really good; and she has delicate hands.

Does it bother me that she's more attached to my husband? Absolutely not. I'm happy she's making her way into our family in the manner she finds most comfortable. (Also, it makes up for the many, many times that Georgia preferred me to my husband).

Today we go back to the civil affairs office to finalize the documents that will lead to a passport and a visa for Song Song to travel home with us. Three days of paperwork and more travels through Middle Earth, then a week of waiting before receiving the documents, taking an oath at the U.S. Consulate, then travelling home.

Her name is Anna Song Song Marshall.