Kate

Many aspects of the adoption process inspired in me a certain amount of apprehension, chief among them was the Homestudy. The Homestudy is exactly that - the study of one's home. In anticipation of this event, I scoured my house and quizzed my daughter on manners; any deviation from a healthy, happy household, I feared, would be tantamount to lying on a bed of red velvet pillows in a sequined bra and harem pants with a hookah hanging from my lips, opium clouds swirling toward the ceiling.

The social worker from the agency, Kate, called ahead of time to "assuage any concerns" about the Homestudy, explaining that the meeting shouldn't take more than a couple of hours, and that the purpose was to give the agency an idea of what our home looked like, to talk to any other members of the household about the adoption process, and to "answer any questions." I said I understood. Still, I thought, they need to make sure we don't keep yak in the basement or a have pit twenty feet deep from which bamboo spears are positioned skyward, camouflaged by a grassy cover.

Any anxiety I felt quickly evaporated when I met Kate. She called a few hours before we were supposed to meet and apologized for forgetting the appointment time, "but," she explained, "my car was broken into inside my garage and my laptop stolen, which contained all my scheduling information." She, too, wanted to make a good impression. And she did. She arrived on time, blond, blue-eyed, and very warm and friendly. She spent about an hour with us going over adoption basics - the type of child we felt would be a good fit with our family, whether we preferred a boy or a girl, how old we preferred the child to be. She also explained why she was asking these questions at our home, rather than asking that we meet at the agency: she needed to look at our surroundings. She explained that many people who haven't had any children adopt a toddler, but are unaware of safety issues in the home or of the type of stuff they need. She also wanted to talk to our daughter about her thoughts, which took about two minutes because our daughter, who was four years old at the time of the Homestudy, was able to see only about five minutes into the future. Accordingly, she said she felt "fine" about adopting a sister, and thought it would be "fun." Check.

Kate walked through our house, stating that we ought to put a baby gate at the top of the stairs, (duh), and asking where the baby's room would be. She also went over information that is stressed over and over again with adoptions - that the baby or child might have separation anxiety when they are first brought home. Kate was right. The meeting took only an hour and a half, and she had no "concerns" after going through our home and talking with us. (After she left I let the yak back into the kitchen).