Intention

From 1993 to last year, we had two greyhounds, Rosie and Archie. When we lived in a condo and didn't have a yard to run them in, we'd take them on walks or runs along the beach. It's fair to say that every day, at least one stranger would stop us and ask, "Did you rescue them?" or "What beautiful dogs. Are they rescues?" Technically, we got the dogs from an organization charged with placing racing dogs in homes, but we didn't really think of our relationship with our dogs as one of rescuer/rescued. They were just our dogs. Realizing that people's intentions were good, we usually responded, "well, we did get them from a greyhound organization and they raced for a time." Often, this was followed by something along the lines of how great we were to do such a thing or how they wished more people would do it, and so on. My husband and I thought about it in much simpler terms: we wanted dogs, they wanted people, we wanted each other, we found each other.

Tonight I had dinner with an old friend whose brothers and sisters are all adopted from different countries around the world. (My friend is blond and blue eyed, like me). How did I not know this? Apparently her mother's career, before she retired, was placing children from around the world in homes. My friend's mother, when sifting through applications to adopt, considered it a red flag when an applicant would respond to the question "why do want to adopt?" with "because there are so many needy children in the world." According to my friend's mother, such an answer, while generally true, suggested that perhaps the parent's need to be a good Samaritan was greater than the needs of the child.

Perhaps such scrutiny is harsh, but I understand it. Upon hearing this, I did a quick mental review of how we answered that question. I believe our answer was that there was a need in our family, that our family is incomplete, and that we wish to complete our family with a person who is already on the planet. Pretty simple.

There is a great deal of attention these days to celebrities who adopt children. I think celebrities are probably no different than anyone else, they just have more money and more notoriety. Accordingly, many of them probably adopt in order to enhance their sense of themselves, and some probably adopt to complete their families. I really can't be the judge.

Perhaps writing about the adoption process in such a public way is akin to asking for praise. I hope not. Fundamentally, I want to chronicle the process for my friends and family who ask a lot of good questions. I have also made many good friends in cyberspace who I think are interested. And, yes, I like to hear myself talk. Let's be honest.

When our adoptive daughter is home with us, she will be a part of our family and superfluities or impure motives, if any, will quickly fall away. I don't believe such motives exist with us, but I check myself each and every day.

And yes, I realize that children are not greyhounds. Greyhounds run faster and have to go to the dentist more often.